Telling Your Partner You Have Herpes

Telling Your Partner You Have Herpes

One of the most common problems that people who carry HSV viruses have to deal with is telling their partners that they have herpes. As it is wrongfully considered a stigma in society, saying you have herpes to another person might be one of the hardest things to do. However, you deserve a wonderful love, partner or a healthy relationship just as anybody else. Your HSV can be served as a true test to see who your real love is, and who would be willing to look past your skin condition and accept who you are. With that being said, knowing how to say it to your potential partners at the right time and place is essential in starting a healthy relationship with them. This blog post today will dedicate my experience to giving you tips on how to do that.


Be as informed as you can about herpes first

This part is very crucial in the process of telling your partner about your condition. The first time I tried to tell it to someone, I was so unprepared that I could not answer simple questions like “how does the herpes virus works?” and she ended up just wanted to be friends. The more prepared you are about all the information regarding your condition, the more confident you will be. On top of that, you would be able to thoroughly convey the information to your partner with much less chance of miscommunication that would hurt your relationship. Your partner will most likely have tons of questions as well that you need to properly answer them.

Choose your words and the way you address them wisely.

First of all, you must try to make it as casual and positive as you can. The more serious and dramatic you make it seems to be, the more panic your partner will get. Don’t suggest how they should act. For examples, don’t start the topic by saying: “Don’t freak out….” Or “you’re going to be panic, but…”

Try to include a lot of facts and statistics when you explain your condition to them hence the important reason why you need to be informed. Make sure to let them know that it’s a lot more common than most people think and back it up with statistics.

One thing you also need to remember is try not to portrait it negatively. For example, don’t use words such as “decease”, “incurable”, “awful”…etc.

The setting is everything

Right place and right time can greatly affect the outcome. Don’t just randomly break the news to your partner while they are busy doing something. It should be common sense but don’t call them at work or start with “hey, we need to talk”. That would make the situation too dramatic and negative.

A relaxing setting with no distractions is what you should aim for. For example, a dinner at a quiet restaurant or while hanging out at a park.

Do not wait until you are about to have sex to tell them, or during foreplay or when you are naked. Lust will affect the decision making process that both of you will potentially regret it later.

Just let the topic come up as naturally as possible.

Don’t beat yourself up

Remember that some people will just leave no matter how well you explain. Give them time to think, and don’t beat yourself up if they end up leaving. It is not your fault and that if they leave you because of it, then they don’t deserve you in the first place.

Be happy. Be positive and knowing that you deserve everything just like everybody else. Your skin condition will be the filter for those who don’t want to be with you and for you to find your real love.


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